Buy the Bikini- Then Actually Wear It
Summer always brings up the big feelings around my always healing body image. The swim suit section seems to sneak up and surprise me with cute bikinis and too-few sizing options every coming of the season, and it reminds me of the lowkey traumatic bathing suit shopping experiences I’ve had through the years. All the time I spent walking around stores with clothes I’d wished I “had the body for" would add into days if combined. Later, I became the queen of taking home clothes, putting them on for a day out of the house, and changing into something less bold before making it through the door. But why?
Feminine beings value beauty because we are beauty, and there’s nothing innately wrong with that. The problem occurs when our definition of beauty is overpowered by societal values and cultural conditioning.
Beauty to me is breathless. It is the meeting point in which ease and comfort embrace power and passion- it is the feminine, and it lights up that side of ourselves. Beauty to society is more about squeezing into a box and shaming anything that steps outside of the parameters set by… who? Who even makes up these rules? Clearly not the feminine, but we are pressured to fall into the box lest risk being seen as an outlier- a historically dangerous place to be. Flashbacks to witch trials move through my head anytime I consider what it’s like to step out of the norm. When this idea is applied to the body, a person’s built in home, supporter, protector, and so much more, it becomes a rejection of a piece of ourselves. It’s no wonder showing up in a bikini that clearly shows wether we do or do not fall in line with society’s expectations of a feminine being feels uncomfy- unsafe.
But you are safe in your self. When stepping into the power of defining your own parameters for beauty, or anything really, you reclaim the ability to self-validate and step into the fuck ‘em energy that you were meant to exist in.
So if you’re making a beeline past the swim section, or buying the most hide-it-all suit you can find, consider stepping out of your comfort zone and closer to your own “holy shit I’m hot as fuck” moment.
Here are 4 tips you can use to help you get out of the house in your bikini!
Buy it.
Is this an obvious one? The first big obstacle you face when it comes to hitting the beach in your hot new swimsuit is actually buying it. In the store, you may gravitate towards the one-pieces. Chances are, you’re seeing one-piece swimsuits as the only option because you want to cover your insecurities. So let me tell you a secret that you're not going to like. They are still there. Whether you hide them away or let them see the sun, dealing with your insecurities is inner work you have to do if you’re going to feel comfy in your body. In fact, your insecurities are often visible even when they are covered by clothes. Back rolls? Visible. Tummy? Visible. Boob size? Visible. Again, that layer of clothing doesn’t make them magically disappear. You HAVE to learn to accept the things you don’t love about your body before you can feel confident.
Wear it.
But don’t leave the house yet. This may sound really silly, but when I’m feeling weird in a new piece of clothing, particularly one that shows more of my body than I’m used to, I wear it around the house. This helps me get comfy with the way in lays on my body, the way my body moves in it, and the amount of skin that is exposed. Honestly, it usually takes a few times of wearing it inside before I make it out the door, but when I do, I’m so much more comfortable! Try to look at it as breaking in the bikini, as though you’d break in a new pair of shoes! Dance around your living room as your favorite music blasts through the house. Whip out TikTok and watch one of my spicy selfie posing videos, and give it a try! Do something that makes you feel powerful, brave, and gorgeous, and tie those feelings to the outfit.
Send it.
Show your friends! As long as you have a supportive, encouraging friend or group of friends, you’ll get all the encouragement you need by being transparent with those who love you. This is a scary step because it’s the first time someone other than you is going to see your body in it, but trust me, it’s impactful! While you do this, pretend you are one of the friends getting that picture. Put yourself in an outsider position, seeing your body in the swimsuit for the first time. As your friend, what would you say? How would you build the hype? What encouraging words would you offer? In other words, look for the positive, as though you do for your best friend, instead of the negative you search for on yourself.
DO IT.
You’ve bought it, broke it in, and showed your friends… now, it’s time. Remember those feelings you had when you were dancing around and taking super hot photos? You’re that girl. You are STRONG. You are CAPABLE. You are so insanely hot that you had to wear a bikini to get a little more air, but it just threw more oxygen into the flames and WHOOSHHHHH- YOU ARE A WHOLE SCORCHING FIRE! Your friends certainly thought so. Remember what they said? You can do this.
I believe in you.
Yours sensually,
Michaela ♡
